The last night, scattered emotions and thoughts

So much has happened over the last 3 months. The news of another set of twins, we took a vacation to my family's mountain cabin, the emotional ups and down of deciding to move or not, a rental agreement...fallen through, a real estate deal...closed, and now it is all slowing down. Tonight is the last night the kids will sleep at our townhouse and tomorrow will be ours.

God has over and over proven Himself faithful. We have been showered with support and help from our family and friends. Here is a portion of an email I wrote a while back describing sweet timing and reassurance from the Lord. I was feeling quite fearful of all that was happening in our lives and wondering if I would fail. I don't write to say that this is true, but when we are all being completely honest, we all have moments like these.

"I am encouraged. God has really been working on my trust of His provision for our lives, has been renewing my prayer life for my husband, and has been encouraging me as a mom.

I was really desperate for some reassurance that I/we are not going to fail at parenting all of these little ones and also some clarity from God living situation. God has been revealing little bits over the last few weeks bring a much clearer picture!

We are feeling like God may be closing the door to having someone live with us to help with the kids. God has been continually reminding me of what a wise woman shared with me about when Jesus fed the 5000, that He says to bring our loaves and fish and he will multiply them. That He says that we should do it and He will help. There has really been no interest or leads in a woman to live with us and I was feeling like I would just be all alone (I huge lie, I know!). Another woman shared with me a verse from Hebrews… “Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have for the Lord your God has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” She described to me that the never and nor are triple negatives, so God says, I will no, not never leave or forsake you! I can be quite thick so sometimes I need to hear it three times!

As I was praying over this verse the next day and just telling God that if He doesn’t provide someone to live with us to help me that it will be okay because He’ll be there. While I was praying I got a phone call that I let go to voice mail. When I checked the message it was from a gal at Summitview who had organized her whole team and a few other women to make me 2 weeks of frozen meals. She was just checking to be sure we had freezer space and no allergy issues. That was such a kind timing from God!

I have also been realizing that many of my motivations for having someone live with us revolve around clamoring for “me time” and my interests. I have recognized selfishness in the motivation, not a genuine desire for someone to help me shepherd my children. Really someone to just let me get out, go to the grocery store, run errands, be by myself. This is not a right or need and I was really feeling like I deserved these things and absolutely needed them. (Not that these things are bad, my motivations were just not right)

This weekend I got an extended quiet time and was encouraged by the following verse:

1 Chronicles 28:20:

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished."

Another thing that played into this is that if would could find a house where Anthony could have office space, he can telecommute next year for up to 20 hours a week. That is HUGE!!!! If someone was in my home, my husband is the absolute best option. What a blessing to have him there for me and the kids. "

God says to remember and tell of His glorious deeds. All of this to me was so glorious. I have to share this intimate encounter with my Lord. It is so good to recount all that God has done, it helps me tremendously to just rest and not fear.

So, tonight is the last night. It is such a bittersweet occasion...moving. We really love this house and are sad to move. This is really the only home the children have known. Rourke was only 6 months old when we moved here. Lydia and Francesca were tiny when we brought them home.

I will miss our neighbors, my little garden, evenings on the patio under the twinkling umbrella. Walks to the park, seeing the Robinsons just across the green space and the Youngs around the corner, the quiet nearness to the foothills, my huge kitchen counter. I never thought I would be so attached to a space, but I am attached to this little house and all that has happened here. I have had many moments of joy, thankfulness, frustration, fear, laughter, love, and growth. It is a treasured time.

However, our new home will bring many more memories. God has really blessed us with an amazing house to develop our family and to shepherd our children toward His truths and glory. We are thankful. This home meets our physical needs for a long time with 4 (5 really) bedrooms, a huge finished basement, a large yard, a deck, a patio covered with a pergola, incredible views of God's creation, and newly remodeled bathrooms and kitchen. It even has a garage (wow)! We will live literally down the street and around the corner from my sister, brother-in-law, and nieces. There is even a family from our church who live 2 houses down. We have been abundantly blessed with such a wonderful house to make our home. We are excited to welcome our two new children to this home.

I feel so grown up. I mean, really grown up. One of those moments when you realize that you are an adult, it hasn't all been a dream, you won't go back to mom and dad's this weekend. It's such a strange feeling. I have 3 children, a grown up house, and 2 more kiddos on the way! There is no turning back. I am sure with each passing year I will be amazing with the lightning speed of it all, wondering...how did this happen, where did all the time go, why wasn't more thankful?

I want to be thankful. I want to remember all the things that the Lord has done and give Him the praise and honor for it all. God has been gracious to me. I am incredibly blessed to know Jesus Christ as my Savior, Redeemer, Friend, and Eternal Father. My husband loves me and is thoughful of my needs and desires. He is my best friend, he is a trustworthy, honorable man who takes great care of me and my children. He is such an amazing dad! He loves his children. They adore him. I have the pleasure of being a mom to Rourke, Lydia & Francesca. I can't wait to meet the two inside my belly. They are but little tickles now, but soon I will know their names and see them grow. By the way, we are not finding out the genders. Surprises come few and far between, this is a great way to enjoy a surpise!

I am truly amazed by the support, help, and love shown by our family and friends. People have given generously of time and finances to display their care for our family. With many meals, free childcare, items for our house, help moving, prayers, timely questions of just how are we doing and loving understanding to allow me to be honest with my emotions or feelings of the day followed by gentle reminders of the truth I am not seeing. My dad did a wonderful job with a remodel project at the new house opening up a wall between the kitchen and living room so I can see the kids.

Wow! To have such a God and such faithful, loving people around us is humbling. I am so thankful.

1 in 1000

There is a 1 in 1000 chance of:

• Catching a foul ball at a MLB game
• Getting Encephalitis from a case of the Measles if you are not vaccinated
• Finding a double yolk in your egg
• Having childhood arthritis
• Naming all 5 First Amendment freedoms
• Winning a Canopy Management Group Prize
• An asteroid will hit the earth in the next century
• Encountering a malicious website
• Having a second set of twins in the same family!

Guess which 1 in 1000 we are!

We are expecting our next set of blessings around Christmas time. In the mean time we are exploring a bigger house, a bigger van, and enjoying all the time we get with the three little ones we have.

The message at church this week was fitting for this news. The speaker, Mitch Majeski, encouraged us with the truth that children are gift and blessing from the Lord. Not a burden. We are looking forward to the adventure our life will hold as we welcome our new children. Here's the link if you want to listen to it.

We would appreciate your prayers for:

• Healthy babies.
  
• A full term, healthy pregnancy and easy delivery.
  
• Wisdom for our financial decisions.
• Renters for our townhouse. Do you need a great 3 bedroom with a fenced front & back yard??? Give us a call!
  
• That God would provide for our increased living expenses and for debt repayment as we will most likely need a different mini-van and will be needing to find a larger home.
  
• That we would appreciate and parent well during the next 6 or 7 months before the babies are born.
  

For now, here's a cute picture of Rourke, Lydia & Francesca. Enjoy!

Sweet Words

We finally had a nice day today! Over the last few weeks it has been unpredictable and not very warm. The kids and I walked to the park with our friends, Jeanne & Ben. A coupleof weeks ago we started some seedlings. The kids had so much fun and got dirty!


The kiddos are verbal these days, but my favorite are those phrases that aren't quite right! Here's a sampling of some recently heard from the Alvarado girls:

"help-e-you": "help me"
"too-ta" or "tipa, tipa": tortilla
"sucka": Lydia's fond calling for her sister, "Francesca"
"hangaber": This has dual meaning: hamburger and booger
diapie: "diaper" but so cute. Especially when Francesca says, "mommy, change diapie"
oak or oakie: "Rourke"

Rourke is quite clear in his language and has begun to write letters...he has mastered A, H, J, R, and O!

Traditions

The Alvarado Family has a steadfast tradition. It is one of great intensity and duration. Great highs and quick lows. Squeaks, cheers, and that sweet sound of a basketball flowing through the threads of the carefully braided net. That's right, folks, March Madness is a fond family tradition.

This year the kids have fully joined in with the fun! They chose their picks right along side the adults...and they have some good ones too!

Here's some video of the kid's choosing experience! They are learning how to cheer & it is delightful to hear Rourke chime in with his dad's "ohhhhs" and "nice". Lydia & Francesca have learned to wave their fist in the air while exclaiming , "go, go, go!" Isn't it fun!?

East is from the West

"East To West "
Casting Crowns
(see below for full song lyrics)

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

Tonight I totally blew it. I yelled, slammed the microwave door & forcefully stomped on an apple jack. I felt so terrible. The kids weren't even doing anything bad...just being little children. I confessed my sin to them, asked for their forgiveness and we finished dinner & I got them ready for bed.

I have been loosing patience with them today and coming to the end of myself. A good thing, I suppose, to rely on the help of my Heavenly Father...if I let Him help. I snapped at Rourke a couple of times and was just hard on him.

Chorus:
Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

Tonight when I put Rourke to bed, I prayed for him as we do each night. We always ask him if he wants to pray, it usually goes something like this, " Dear God, thank you for this day and Grandpa and Grandma and Grandma Sherry and Frannie and Lydia and Daddy and Mommy and Connor and Laney (insert aunts, uncles, and friends). It is really sweet to hear him thanking God for those he loves. It is always in the same order. Tonight, though, it was different.

Tonight, he said, "Dear God, thank you for this day and mommy."

I said, "And..."

He said, "And you," pointing right at me with a big grin on his face.

I asked him, "Who else, buddy?"

He said, "Mommy, and...."

I replied, "And...?"

And he continued down his list. What a tender example to me of the distance of the east from the west. I was not patient, kind, loving, gentle, or understanding with Rourke today. Yet at the end of the day, he was purposeful (as much as a 3 year old can be) in thanking God for me. Such a gift that I definitely didn't deserve or earn from today's mothering installment.

This week has had other moments like this. I have been emotional and edgy the last few days. (I have been on my own the last 5 1/2 days because Anthony is out of town)

Three times, Frannie has come up to me, with her sweet little voice and said, "I love you, Mommy. Hug?" She really is the best hugger! She is like a koala...she holds on so tight and snuggles in close. Last Friday I was on the floor changing Lydia's diaper, Frannie came up from behind me, put her arms around my shoulders and told me she loved me. (She has a pretty good vocabulary and it is so cute to hear her talk...her voice is so tiny and sweet, and she says these big sentences. A couple of days ago Lydia smashed her finger in a bi-fold closet door. Frannie said, "It's okay Lydia, you alright." That's a 5 word sentence from a 19 month old!!!"

Lydia isn't too cuddly, but she let me hold her for almost 20 minutes yesterday. It was a joy to my heart!

What a gift & joy to be the mother of such sweet children. Children who I think teach me as much or more as I teach them.

I clearly understand that I am not a perfect mother, I do lose it sometimes. I am always learning and know it's okay to make mistakes (that's why you can't remember such young years, right?!). I am so thankful that God has allowed my children this week to encourage my heart, giving me an example of how far the East is from the West. Praise & Glory to God!

Full Lyrics:
http://www.songlyrics.com/song-lyrics/Casting_Crowns/Miscellaneous/East_To_West/264398.html

A Christmas Dance

She is her mother's daughter!

DISCLAIMER: I have no favorite!

Lydia is so "her mother's daughter!" The evidence is absolutely clear...she easily slips on my shoes (cute picture, huh?), and she loves to eat, especially spicy food. She is emotional. She is delighted to help others...her most happy times are when she is helping me unload the dishwasher. She hands me a fork and says "doo, doo." She is telling me "thank you." I know she is really just anticipating what I will tell her, but I can see in her face that she really is thankful to be helping. She enjoys it!

Other proofs include: she's only cuddly during a video or at night (movies are limited, so I am sometimes tempted to let her watch more TV just so I can cuddle her!), she sleeps on her tummy, she is independent, and most convincingly, she is so clumsy!

I thought I'd include these song lyrics because they popped into my head when I began to write this blog...what a sweet song to hope for a daughter.

Martina Mcbride - In My Daughter's Eyes Lyrics
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes