Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Surgery, Snow, and Scans

Esther's surgery went well yesterday, so that is a praise. Tomorrow is scan day. I am have been battling anxiety and am not sure if it's related to scans or the snow. I'm nervous to drive to Denver early in the morning on roads that could be icy. Probably a bit of both. Esther will have a CT scan, lab work, and a pulminary function test. Hopefully we will learn more about why her recent cold so quickly turned into bronchitis. I can't remember if I wrote that before, but she was treated for bronchitis after a chest x-ray last week showed some thickening in her lungs.

I want to ask for prayer for clean scans, for no cancer, and I do. At the same time, I don't want to ask anymore. Although the daily tasks related to cancer are finished, it is never far away. I want to ask for it to just be gone...all gone. There are things I am so, so thankful for. For the people we met, and the love we've been shown. For the nearness of God and the simplicity of choices for that day. I never want to forget the grace poured over us.

We've been working to live life, to choose faith, to just put one foot in front of the other. I may have said this before, but it's kind of like when you've been working really hard and then you sit down, sometimes it's so hard to get back up, to keep going. But you have to, so you pick yourself up and move forward. We can all remember a time when tragedy entered and everyone kept going when you just want everything to stop. Sort of like those strange dreams where you've forgetten to get dressed, but no one notices. You're there, freaking out because you're naked, but everyone just keeps walking. I'm striving to be paitient for rest and to look for the graces and mercies around in our daily lives. Here are a few...


Rourke chose St. Basil's cathedral, one of areas of study this year.

Rourke chose St. Basil's cathedral, one of areas of study this year.
Lydia chose a Clara and her Nutcracker


Frannie's pick, royalty!


Zinnia's looks like a delicious Christmas cake ball


Esther wanted a blue candy cane
I love the creative practicality of boys. Rourke put all the trains and cars on a track of tinsel.


Coloring before surgery, with bunny's help!

Esther did amazing yesterday. She even let them start an IV. She hardly flinched. This was both relieving and disheartening that a 4 year has had to be so brave. She shouldn't be used to pokes, she should've fought and screamed. At the same time, her trusting, brave nature has carried her well and has been a grace over her life.

Our Christmas lights are especially pretty in the freshly fallen snow.


Tomato cages turned upside down make great trees!



  1. Know I'm praying praying praying from afar. Peace to you mama, I know this road is beyond difficult even when we get to taste a slice of normalcy once again.

  2. We are praying for a safe drive and scans to be cancer free! Love all the pictures you posted!