Tomorrow kicks off the next big step in Esther's treatment. She'll have labs drawn and a CT scan to make sure her intestinal inflammation is gone and then Wednesday we'll check in for chemo. Anthony is going to take her to Denver so I can have one more day with the rest of the gang.
It is so funny how a week at home really feels like such a long time. Actually, when Wednesday rolls around, 12 days will be the longest stretch I've been home since June. It has been a treat to be mommy. Last night I even made a deliciously fried family favorite, the Mexican meal. I think we all enjoyed a taste of normal and the smells of garlic and onion roasting in a pan certainly helped all of our spirits.
My dad started his second week of treatment today. He is having radiation Monday through Friday (and twice on Wednesday) for a total of six weeks. He also has chemo on Mondays of the first (done!), third, and fifth week. He's already knocked one week of his treatment down. Also, they had a lymphnode in his armpit biopsied and it came back clean. Praise God! It seems like his cancer is fairly contained. The effects of his treatment are surfacing. His lack of taste, nausea, and fatigue are setting in. Pray for endurance and that each and every beam of radiation and every drop of chemo does its job effectively against the cancer and that his other tissues, like salivary glands and taste buds, would be spared by God's mercy.
At church on Sunday we sung a Hymn, Trust and Obey. We sometimes sing hymns, but not always. Anyway, as I was singing those lyrics, I was spurred on that I need to just trust and obey right now and not wait for the feeling. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."
Feelings don't authenticate our faith. While I have so much to be thankful for right now, I'm bone tired. I have thought about what has spurred gratitude over the last two days, I have kind of been searching for a feeling. The lyrics to that song reminded me that my gratitude is found in Jesus and the deliberate choice to trust and obey.
I am thankful for my church. That our worship leader continually finds songs that spur my soul to worship the Lord and music that sticks with me. It's not just a concert, but something that brings me to contemplate. I am thankful for warm weather and how my kids love to shout and hollar and groan at football games. I am thankful for a husband who sees my needs and tells me to go get a massage, so I did.
I am thankful for the ability to mother my children the last couple of weeks, to teach them math and reading and language, science and geography. Today we took a nature walk around our yard to see how many varieties of leaves and leaf parts we could identify. It was so much fun. The efforts are paying off, wouldn't you say?