I Think I Will Have Those Chicken Wings After All

At about 7:30 this evening, I walked downstairs to the cafeteria to get my dinner after putting Esther to bed. It was a pretty uneventful day. In fact, I actually had texted Sam about writing the post tonight since I knew her and the kids had a fun day working hard around the house and outside.

When I walked up to the cafeteria grill to order my chicken wings, I was somewhat rudely told that I could not order the wings until 9:30 since it was a weekend night. After sulking for a few minutes, I settled for the healthy choice of a bacon cheeseburger and fries and headed back up to Esther's room. I don't normally get french fries but these were fresh and hot and I was excited to eat my dinner and watch more Parenthood on Netflix on our iPad.

But it was not to be. As soon as I walked in, another nurse had just taken Esther to go potty and now Esther was sitting up in her bed and the nosebleed had started. Here we go. Her platelets were only 27 this morning and that was from labs taken at 2am - almost a day earlier. Her own nurse Jess came in and we began battling the nosebleed and pushing for a platelets transfusion. I knew where this was all going so my goal was trying to keep Esther was swallowing her blood and to keep her leaning forward. The resident doctor had a genius idea to put Esther on her stomach and that helped a ton. Jess probably held pressure on her nose for nearly an hour while I rubbed Esther's back and we waited for platelets. We kept the pressure on her nose through the platelets as well.

The whole process lasted nearly 2 hours. She only coughed up a little bit of blood and didn't seem to lose too much. Esther blows my mind at how resilient she is. I just tried to coach her through breathing and keep her calm but she does so well at communicating what she needs and calming back down when getting flustered. The nurses were kind of blown away. I honestly can't imagine God equipping her any better to endure nights like she just had.

Needless to say, my cheeseburger and fries were a bit soggy and cold by the time things settled down. I checked the clock and decided that I was going to have those chicken wings after all! I came up and ate my yummy dinner and then called Sam back. In the midst of talking to Sam in the hallway, another nosebleed started and I rushed back in. This one wasn't nearly as bad and we held pressure for about 20 minutes and it stopped. Esther nearly fell asleep before we finished stopping the second nosebleed she was so exhausted! Post nosebleed, her red blood count was back to 6.4 and before the night is over, she'll have her second blood transfusion in as many days. Her ANC was only 16.4 this morning so even with no fevers or other illnesses, it'll still probably be a few days before she gets discharged to go home.

How easily we could have been at home this weekend! Once we knew her platelets were low on Thursday and she had that slight nosebleed Thursday evening, I had hoped and prayed she would have to go in before Saturday. God had it in his hands and was very gracious in his timing. If we were at home, it could have been very dangerous circumstances. I am very grateful for God's tender hand in all of it.

God also knew I really wanted those chicken wings.

In a hard trial, it can feel almost cliche and minimizing to say that God works all things for good (Romans 8:28). But it's still true isn't it? Even in the little things. Chicken wings to nosebleeds, do I really believe God has it all in his hands? How can I not after the night we just went through?

Most of the time we act like God is distant or indifferent or even asleep. Most of the time that's just how we want it. But I am so thankful my God pursues and does not sleep nor is he forgetful. What would we do if not for that? What would we do if God sat back and had not sent his son into our harsh world to get us back? Where would we be had he not loved us first, when our backs were turned to him? My God has plans for hurting 3 year olds and he doesn't forget the chicken wings either.

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. (Psalm 121:1-4)

 

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