|Rourke at Esther's blood transfusion|
|Sleeping with her Huggable Hope Doll|
|Enjoying Spiral Mac & Cheese with Zinnia|
|Frannie had NO problem being loud enough to call the BINGO numbers.|
I am still operating in a fog. I did some school with Lydia and Frannie this week, we even did a project with Rourke via FaceTime. It felt good to do something "normal." We aren't attending Classical Conversations for at least the first six weeks. Given the intensity of the cold and flu season, and the high number of cases of whooping cough, the doctors thought it would be best to not attend. Not only does Esther have a general inability to fight infection, any immunization she received prior to her transplant is gone. Also, if we did send our kids, they would then not be able to come to Brent's place. The kids are disappointed, but understand it's really the best choice right now. They thought I did a pretty good job last week, so I think we'll make it.
Cancer is a long road for anyone. This week we learned my dad will need an additional three months of chemo and we also have been praying for a family we've met along this road. Collin is a 6 year old who is 10 days post transplant. Anthony and his dad, Tim, have a mutual friend. This week, Collin's mom, Suzanne, had surgery to remove a large mass that is likely cancerous. They are waiting on the pathology, but the doctors were not very positive regarding the tumor. Pray it would be benign, and for Tim as he must be torn between caring for his wife and his son, both in hospitals, in different cities. Pray for Suzanne, for her recovery, for their infant son, only a few months old, and for Collin's other two siblings. I have been brokenhearted that she is not able to care for her son although she knows he is suffering.
I've always been comforted by Habbakuk 3:17-19
17 Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19 GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places.In these verses everything is bad...it doesn't just seem bad, it is bad. But it's not forever. Joy is not always vibrant and bubbly, sometimes it's a muted choice or hope in a promised future. I think joy can fluctuate, but God IS. He is our strength, He makes our feet steady in steep, rocky paths, and when we slip, we will recovery quickly.
One thing I am incredibly thankful for is that the darkness of cancer, of hardship in general, makes it easier to take joy in the little things. We don't need some big, major change to bring us joy, sometimes all we need is a sparkly shirt and tutu.