Friday, September 21, 2012

As For Me

We went to church last Sunday and sung a new song, "As For Me" by One Sonic Society.

As we sung the song, my arms were filled with a little girl with no hair, wearing a mask to avoid getting sick. I began to weep as we sung this line...

"When the cost is great, You are greater still"

There I was, standing there, feeling the suffocating cost. Comforted that He is greater still. The next few lines in the song are...

I am standing on this one thing

You will come again and all the world will see

You lifted up

We made it home today, and my feet have felt quite insecure all afternoon. Getting home from the hospital is disorienting. I almost don't know what to do when I get home and am weighed down by feelings of guilt because I haven't been there. I feel like I need time to orient myself. Where is the heart of my husband and my children, what needs to they have, do we need to wash towels, the flowers are drooping and dying, should I water them? I can't just re-engage and take off running. My feet are not standing on the hope of Christ's return, they are sinking into guilt that is completely unwarranted. My guilt is gone, it was placed upon the cross of Christ. When I remember this truth, I am settled, and my feet can step forward, firm.

This has been my comfort over the last few difficult days. I really can only stand on one thing, my feet slip and fall on any other ground, Jesus will come again. The pain of this life will not endure. We will see Christ lifted up.

Too often my eyes see what is hard, ugly, trying, inconvenient. Those are easy things which to call attention, and it's just not attractive. Seriously, who has ever watched a political ad and thought, "Wow, I'm so glad I saw that. That made me feel great! I am moved to good, and I'm gonna vote for that guy!" No, it distracts us, turns us toward ugliness and half truths about the opponent...we have no idea what the guy who "approved this message" is going to do, but we sure know the other guy is total scum bag. Quite honestly, I don't really care if the mud is full of truth, the way it is slung around disgusts me, and I don't really want to vote for anyone who approves such messages. And we become angry, annoyed, mad. Never are we built up, encouraged. It causes us to become anxious, fretful. When the wrong things are lifted up, peace and comfort will not be found.

While my wonderings when I arrive home are not ugly political ads, comfort and peace are not found as I pull in the driveway. I think I need to chew on this a while longer, but my initial thought is that I am lifting up the wrong things. I am lifting up the needs of my home and family and my own insufficiencies (either caused by circumstance or my own weaknesses) before the hope set before me.

One day we won't do that anymore, we will see Him lifted up. It will be good...there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more death. The song continues...

I will sing, I will sing

God be praised, God be praised

All will see, All will see

God be praised, God be praised

That is our prayer for all of this...that God would be lifted up and we would sing His praises. Not that it's supposed to be easy or that we can't struggle...neither of those things does God ever promise. He says He collects our tears and is greater still.

I found this video distracting, but listen and minimize the video. Sing the song, it's good, refreshing.

 

Here's the lyrics:

I have heard the call and i will not be moved

I have set my heart on one thing

I will wear your name for all the world to see

You lifted up


As for me i will raise your banner high

I will shout aloud your name i wont deny

Jesus you have given all so i give you my life

I will raise your banner high


When the cost is great you are greater still

I am standing on this one thing

You will come again and all the world will see

You lifted up


I will sing I will sing

God be praised God be praised

All will see All will see

God be praised God be praised

 

3 comments:

  1. So glad you are home!! Enjoy your family and hubby (and bed!). I feel guilt too about the other kids, or if Im with them that Im not with Taylor.

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  2. Enjoy being at home, and thanks for the reminder of looking up at God instead of the stuff in front of us.

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  3. Thank you for sharing you're heart. I'm glad you and Esther are home!

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