Monday, July 2, 2012

Come Now, Little One

I remember when I first began a relationship with the Lord and was just reading the Bible for the first time I was so horrified by the way the Israelites just couldn't remember what God had done for them. I remember sharing at a Bible study that I just couldn't imagine forgetting thinking that I was so much better than the Isrealites.

Well, 13 years later, I am such an Israelite. I need constant reminders. Thankfully, God knows this and in His kindness, gives them to me. He reminded me tonight that He does hear me. I was reading the One Year Bible in 2 Kings when God heard Hezekiah when he was sick. Hezekiah was about to die, he was ill. Isaiah came to tell him he was going to die and Hezekiah "wept bitterly" and had a conversation with God. God was tender to Hezekiah.

...I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears. Behold, I will heal you. ... 2 Kings 20:5

What a kind reminder from the Lord. He heard Hezekiah's prayers, He saw his tears. He hears me, He sees my tears. And Psalm 56:8 says, "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" He hears you, He sees your tears.

Today was a good day for Esther. We tried a new med to help her nausea and it worked, she did not throw up once. I could tell she wasn't feeling great, but a chemo day without vomit is a good day. She didn't eat much at all, but that is normal and as I'm learning, okay, she just gets to eat lots of bacon and they even suggested giving her half & half to make up for the calories this week. The doctor today did mention that she needs to display more signs of taking in enough fluids before they'll let her go home on Wednesday, so please pray for that. We took walks around the floor, went down to the ball machine in the lobby and took a wagon ride around the hospital. It was nice to see her walking around a bit.

As I've become a mother I've seen the character of God more and more. When a newborn baby is fussing because you're changing his diaper, he is only aware that he is naked and ticked off that you keep bending him in half and wiping his behind with a cold thing. He yells & screams. That clean diaper is good for him.

Esther doesn't feel all that well, threw up the two days before, and is being pumped full of liquids. She doesn't really want to drink anything because she might throw it up and she doesn't feel all that thristy, so why does her mom keep telling her to take a drink. She was pretty annoyed and cranky with me. This has been fairly true of this whole journey, it's been hard to take.

How often do we scream like a newborn and tell God "no" in a sassy three year old voice? He is good, He knows. Clean diapers and drinking liquids are good things but our circumstances decieve us into believing it's all wrong and we're righted to a bad attitude. I'm thankful for the reminder that I've thrown fits and sassed God plent of times, but His love is bigger than my attitude and His goodness transcends all circumstance.

One of my life verses is Isaiah 1:18, "Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord; though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool."

I love this verse because of the imagery of snow, freshly fallen and sparkling in the moonlight. That God changes my scarlet into such dazzling beauty. But what has been encouraging me most recently is "Come now, let us reason together." God wants to reason with me, he says to me, "Come here, little one, let me show you. I know you don't get this, let's reason it out together."

What a patient Lord who sees all of my circumstances and Hebrews 4:15 tells us that "We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are yet without sin. Let us then, with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

God wants relationship with us, he wants to reason together, welcomes us at his throne. He wants to reveal His goodness, He listens to us and sees our tears.


  1. Thanks for the updates and the beautiful reminders of God and his tender care for us. Today I had to watch as my baby son screamed for 45 minutes while he had a very small procedure done. It was so hard, and yet I don't regret it because it was a good choice in the long run. Made me really think and pray for you guys and the decisions you are making and will have to make. Good luck with the half & half! And your comment about bending babies in half to change their diapers made me laugh :-)

  2. Your sweet perspective is so soothing to my soul as I wrestle through what you are going through. Praise God for his presence in your life and I pray daily that His peace and mercy would absolutely pour over you and your entire family.

  3. Thanks for the updates. We love you guys so much.

  4. I haven't commented yet, but I'm reading the blogs every day and my heart is completely with your family in prayer. The blogs are truly inspiring.

  5. How true is that! Makes me wonder how many times I've complained and been upset over something that was actually good for me. Thank God for his perfect love! I'm praying that the meds continue to help and that she feels like drinking more.

  6. Thank you for keeping us updated, Sam and Anthony. We are praying for you continually. We are also following the trials of friends from Minnesota whose 3 year old daughter is going through radiation. Within hours of you posting this, that mother also posted about the story of Hezekiah. It reassures us that our prayers are heard by our good and gracious Father. We will continue to lift your whole family up in prayer.

  7. What a beautiful post. We struggled with fluids with our daughter, Macie, who was 2 when diagnosed with Wilms Tumor. One trick worth trying if you haven't already is to find a super special straw cup in a fun shape, we had a princess shaped one that was slightly better received when urging her to take "two big sips." I feel your struggle!

  8. Your updates are such a blessing to many, like me, who don't know you at all. I've been praying for your family and trusting the Lord with you. What a wonderful outreach you have in these difficult days. I'm thankful the Lord has surrounded you with so many close friends and support people (and one little old lady in Arizona).

  9. Crying tears of prayers for you. I am another who does not even know you or your family but knows someone who knows you! I do not know if words of thanks are comforting but I want to thank you for sharing your heart and sharing God's words in your posts. They are an encouragement to others even though our circumstances are different. Thank you!