We also enjoyed visits from Emily, Thomas' mom and Uncle Booie had a meeting nearby and was able to stop by for a bit.
Esther was running around the house tonight with her siblings, dancing in the living room, and has been eating great (aside from throwing up once tonight). It has been a blessing to be home even if it makes for a long drive.
Tomorrow Lydia will join us and I get to learn about giving shots and do some practice on a teaching doll. I wonder if I should use down time at the hospital to take some online courses. There has to be some medical degree to go along with all of this, right?
We only have two more days of chemo! Praying to be peaceful if we are admitted again for a fever, for her counts to not drop so low this next round, and for her to drink enough fluids. We have a long way to go on this treatment plan and I'm already so over the drinking battle. Please pray I would be patient and discerning when to push and when to hold back. Sometimes if she drinks it makes her vomit...then she's afraid to drink. It's also a control issue and seems very grey to know how to parent under these circumstances.
We are doing ok. Feeling like we're right in the middle of coming to an understanding of the length and intensity of this journey. I feel like that might not be the point, though. We can't really anticipate this journey or understand the depth by which we will all change and it won't be neat and tidy at the end of this next year. The impact of this on all our lives will be vast. I just want to know how much this with change us, i want to control it. Ephesians 3:16-21 came to mind as I am writing this,
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
This journey is not about the depth and width of the impact on our lives. It is not about gutting it through the next year and making it out okay. God is never purposeless in our lives, there is a reason he walks us through joy, sorrow, struggle, pain. Although it does not feel like it at times, there is love that surpasses our ability to understand amongst our journey. Through this we want to know Christ's love deeper, to trust the God who is able, who has power. He will strengthen us to know the length, height, and depth of His love.