Friday, December 21, 2012

ARGH!!!!! Disappointment hurts

Yesterday was a pretty good day for Esther. Her body is starting to break down a bit as the mouth sores are beginning to surface. It's not just in her mouth, but her entire digestive system. We started a narcotic this morning to help ease the pain.

She had some water fungus in her nose when we did her work up before she was admitted causing her to need to use a pretty nasty nose spray. The nose spray has been giving her nose bleeds. In a culture she had completed before she began chemo, the culture was negative, so they decided the nose bleeds are more problematic than the need for spray, no more nose spray.

The ARGH!!!! is because Lydia threw up in the night last night. Never, in our family history, have we ever had such a time between vomit. I still am not convinced this is a virus, but it could be, especially since now someone else has thrown up.

This is incredibly disappointing for many reasons.

First, today was going to be a really fun day for the kids. They are hosting a Holiday Boutique where the kids get to shop for each other. They were so, so excited. Now, they can't go.

Second, Anthony and I were going to switch. Now it's not really clear when/if we should. If there is a virus in our family with such a long incubation, how do we know when everyone is okay?

Third, we could have had a pass to let the kids come visit Esther for two hours. We were thinking Christmas Eve. Now, we probably shouldn't let them come at all.

I am pretty heartbroken right now. These circumstances are already so difficult and all of this just really sucks.


  1. Ugh, Sam, that is heartbreaking. Something as simple as throwing up derailing all of your plans to try to make the best of Christmas. I am so sorry!

  2. So sorry Sam. Praying for you and your family.

  3. I appreciate your healthy honesty, Sam. These disappointments suck indeed! Even in the midst of serious disappointment, God's love and beauty shine through your family bringing light and encouragement to many. Keep on fighting the good fight ... and sharing your victories and disappointments along the way. With love and prayers from Amsterdam, patricia.

  4. Sadness. Is E on isolation, can she leave the BMT area? Maybe if the kids do well the rest of the week they could meet you in the family bmt playroom for the hour or so that you got a pass? its find for any people you think that might have a virus to wear a mask too, not just ester. just a though.