Friday, December 14, 2012

Some Vomit (Not Esther's) Changes Our Plans (BMT Day 3)

Just a quick update for today. Esther was tired today but the nausea was under control. Her appetite is still waning but she was craving a hard boiled egg (just the white!) and a cheese stick for dinner and drank a good amount of milk. She didn't want to play much or get out of her bed much but she's getting with a lot right now. She isn't in any pain and hasn't had an mouth sores yet and has been sleeping good. Today we watched some Strawberry Shortcake, Despicable Me (first time she'd seen it, she was thoroughly amused), and Kung Fu Panda 2, and played with some suction cup princesses, listened to Dora's singing microphone, and got in some napping.

The bigger issue to pray for us in today was that Zinnia woke up throwing up this morning. Sam and I were supposed to switch today and her to come be with Esther but given that Z was now sick, we changed our plans. They cleaned Brent's Place and went home. Zinnia felt better the rest of the day but we have to be sure that nothing gets carried to Esther. I'm doing fine here but Sam was sad not to see Esther and then the rest of her day was not much better between Rourke getting a bloody nose (guess how?) and bleeding all over the van, a van tire nearly going flat on the highway, Sam cutting one finger and smashing another, and then finding a dead mouse in our bedroom.

All in all, the timing felt very frustrating on multiple accounts today. I am thankful though that Zinnia got sick today and not a week ago. The goal ultimately was to keep Esther from getting sick. That goal has been accomplished so far and God has been gracious. It crushed Sam today to have to head back to Fort Collins and the timing felt very unfair, but I am still thankful that God has protected Esther from illness the way he has so far. In 6 months of treatment and low counts, she's had one, maybe 2 minor colds. She's had plenty of fevers and low counts but no traceable infections. She had that stomach issue after round 5 when she spent 9 days inpatient but there still was no infection.

I'll probably be here with Esther for sure until Monday. And that's if no other signs of sickness show at home with Sam and the kids. I'm encouraged being with Esther, but I definitely have an overwhelming feeling of helplessness today. I can't really help Sam and I'm only playing a waiting game for things to get worse here. I'm laughing as I right this though. What else do I do? I'm just grasping to trust God's plan and to trust him that this merely a season. I've learned plenty of times that my plans are terrible compared to his.

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