In the midst of a hectic week getting ready for another round of chemo and the stress of trying to prepare for the MIBG treatment and our travels, this song has just spoke to my soul this week. In the midst of the craziness and trial, the biggest detail that matters is settled. God is for me. God is my Heavenly Father who loves me and demonstrated that by sending his son to the cross to get me back from being cut off from him. I have nothing to prove. I don't have to hide. I don't have to pretend. I don't have to choose numbness in the pain. I don't have to choose this world or sin for my satisfaction. I can rest easy.
You don’t have to work so hard
You can rest easy
You don’t have to prove yourself
You’re already mine
You don’t have to hide your heart
I already love you
I hold it in mine
So you can rest easy
This verse used to be a joke to me. What could that possibly mean - His yoke is easy and his burden is light. That just sounded ridiculous. It's a burden and yoke! But I think I'm slowly understanding what Jesus means. Jesus means for me to surrender to him, to his will, to his agenda. Surrender is the key. Will I stop trying to do this on my own or will I rest easy in him and by surrendering.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
I spent today in the hospital with Esther as she received a very intense chemo and we worked to try to stave off her nausea. We're surrounded by other patients going through the same, some very sick. The number of oncology patients here this week is very high. On top of that, they were short 2 nurses today. And yet, it felt like a very light day. I enjoyed being with Esther even as she struggled with her attitude. I was very encouraged. Where did that come from? Certainly not from my flesh. The lightness of my day in this environment came only from the gift of his peace and that surrender.
I watched a storm roll in this afternoon. It took my breath away. I literally saw the rain moving and the ground changing from dry to wet as it moved across the land with the lightning and thunder very close as well. And yet I watched it all from the peace of our room 8 floors up. Such power but so beautiful and such a reminder as to who my ultimate peace comes from and will continue to come from.
The next 2 days will likely be more difficult but I will strive, by God's grace, to keep surrending and to resy easy in him. I'm sure my flesh is going to put up a fight though! Thank you for praying for us today. Your faithful prayers are not in vain and I was very thankful to Jesus for the lightness of his burden today.